work

For most of my career as a developer - say, nine of the past twelve years - I have lived within two miles of my workplace. Cybernet, BBK/PeopleDesign and now, Cynergy. On heavy traffic days it is actually faster for me to walk to work than to drive. Even on good days, driving saves me, at best, ten minutes in each direction. When weather permits, I ride my bike.

But I like best to walk. Especially in the morning, when the city is still waking up. The best days are in the cold parts of the year when the sun is just hitting the tops of the highest trees and buildings. Those are also the days when I walk home after dark.

Biking is more efficient, certainly, but - weather aside - I trust the drivers on the road less than during brighter parts of the year. There are fewer bikers from November through March, so drivers are even less aware of them (us) than usual. I can then choose to slalom quickly on the streets, slowly on the sidewalk, or just walk.

Currently I am exactly a mile and a half from work. The walk takes a little less than half an hour each way. Call it a total of fifty minutes a day, for three miles. Fifteen miles a week, and slightly over four hours. Sometimes I will stop for coffee at MadCap or the Grand Central Market. On the way home, I will often swing by the library. Sometimes I will stop back at the Grand Central Market for a sandwich.

The smell of the city changes from block to block and from month to month. In the summer, the city smells green and steamy. In the winter, earth and smoke. Currently, in the morning the scent trail goes something like this: leaves, earth, bread baking, pavement, car exhaust, bus fumes, cigarette smoke, concrete, pancakes, coffee, river, and occasionally hops from one of the local breweries. Each day is unique as a fingerprint. 

This is the last work day of the year. Since i started this job on August 22, I have driven to work exactly twice. Call it 18 weeks. Or 17, when holidays are removed. So 17 weeks, five work-days a week, three miles a day. 255 miles. Or in my Subaru, a full tank of gas. Extrapolate it out and it is around 750 miles a year of using alternate transportation.

And the best part is that I feel more connected with Grand Rapids than I have in years. Working in front of a computer for 8+ hours a day, even in an office full of good people, is kind of alienating. Walking brings me back to earth.

Here it is, five days in. I picked up a couple of hours of contract work yesterday, which was nice. Trying to get my head into the game today. The constant rain makes me want to go back to bed. I have a couple of dozen projects which are half-completed, several of which I could get done by the end of the week. I have a few new skill sets I need to work on (mobile web, Android app development, AIR development, augmented reality), but I can feel myself beginning to succumb to option paralysis.

My instincts tell me I am still a full-time worker, and that I am home during the late morning hours means I am either on vacation or this is the weekend. This triggers my “I’ve done enough work this week” reflex, which makes it more difficult to want to spend time in front of the computer. Another oddity is that I am unemployed, but everyone in my peer group is working right now. I am out of synch with the greater part of my life.

Today I am cleaning up my house; clearing off surfaces and removing distractions. Every space can be put to use as a place to think, or meditate, or reflect. Or play. I have discovered that the TV show NUMB3RS is surprisingly inspiring, mostly because the obsessive-compulsive geek part of me can identify with Charlie Eppes.

I also applied for unemployment yesterday, which was the first work-related thing in the past week which has felt “real”. If I have the numbers figured correctly – and it’s a big “if” – unemployment should cover all of my expenses for the next few months, which means I will have time to learn some new skills and do some serious networking. Suddenly being a contractor/freelancer is a lot more appealing. Two years ago this would have been devastating. Now it is kind of invigorating.

…it’s not that I’m worried about finding work, or making money. It’s more a sense of bewilderment. Though I have expected this day for over a year, and have been preparing things for the eventuality, actually walking through that door was a bit of a shock. I have abruptly gone from too much to do in too little time, to the opposite – all the time in the world, and no clue what I am going to do with it. Not having the pressure of a restricted schedule makes lessens the drive to make efficient use of any given moment.

Back at the beginning of the year I made a list of about thirty chores and small jobs which could reasonably be accomplished in about fifteen minutes. Given two hours of free time a day, fifteen minutes is a lot of time. With sixteen hours or more a day, yeah, fifteen minutes is fifteen minutes.

This is the third job in 23 years from which I have been let go. The first one was a produce factory in Eaton Rapids. I was a green-season employee, took a sick day, and was fired the next day. A couple of years later I spent a few weeks working as a landscaper. Started fun, ended badly when the company went out of business. Such is life.

I think my first act will be to spend a week clearing my head. Next week I will start making decisions.