“…The current spectacle of technology is having an effect on the civilian population of the appropriate classes, although cyborg development in this sector is a little more subtle than in the military. Most people have seen the first phases of the civilian cyborg, which is typically an information cyborg. They are usually equipped with lap-top computers and cellular phones. Everywhere they go, their technology goes with them. They are always prepared to work, and even in their leisure hours they can be activated for duty. Basically, these beings are intelligent, autonomous workstations that are on call 24 hours a day, 365 days a year…”
— Flesh Machine , by the Critical Art Ensemble

I will take no information technology with me on my vacation, other than my cell-phone. And it will remain off except in case of emergencies. Much as I love computers, sometimes I really hate computers. Any need to be on call in any information-related field is a sign/result of mismanagement of resources (optimistically) or stupidity and greed (pessimistically). And that extraordinary effort is so often accepted as “the way things work in this field” is contemptible. With proper management of time and resources, and most importantly, the subordination of individual egos to the goals of “the project”, the 80-hour week will be a thing of the past. Fear and stupidity are the only obstacles to a significant reduction in stress and burn-out in the information/technology sphere.

ES.O has a new look, obviously. Vertical rows of squares get old in a hurry. I like the aesthetic, but something like that needs to be more subdued, or made so blatant that nothing else exists on the page. As the saying goes, too much is too much, but way too much is just right.

I spent a lot of time over the weekend reading, and writing, and thinking. Much of it was random and uncoordinated (like this site!) but I think I came to some realizations about the nature of cause and effect. The way I understand Nirvana (from the Buddhist perspective) is that to achieve Nirvana is to escape from the cycle of birth and death, cause and effect. But is it possible to even conceive of such a state?

Here is an excerpt from an email I recently sent to someone very close to me:

“…I have been writing a lot, trying to stay sane during all of this insanity. One of the side effects of keeping a journal is that you tend to get a lot of free psychoanalysis: I did this. Why did I do this? How does that make me feel? What does that feeling remind me of? How does that make me feel? What does that feeling remind me of? How does that make me feel?”

And so it goes. The next major changes to this site will (hopefully) be completely invisible to you-all, as I am working on rolling my own extensible XML-driven web logging application. In theory simple, but in practice… a whole lotta work.

Today I was laid low by a visual migraine. If you have never had one of these, it feels like what I imagine a stroke feels like. Severe headache. Brilliant, beautiful, fractured light pattern somewhere in the field of vision. Information coming in from eyes doesn’t quite make it to the cognitive centers of the brain. Short-term visual memory goes kaput. I couldn’t process what I was reading, and couldn’t see the mouse cursor on my monitor.

My first visual migraine scared the hell out of me. I didn’t know what it was and thought I had just suffered some form of brain damage. After an hour or so in a dark, quiet room, it went away. This time, it turned into a full-blown migraine which I currently have in check with massive amounts of powerful medication.

If this sounds familiar, there is a better description here , and over here is a drawing of what it looks like from the inside.

Maybe I should make a Flash demo of a visual migraine… when this one ends.